Basic Rules For Cats Who Have A House To Run:

Chairs and Rugs:

If you have to throw up get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in this in time, get to an Oriental rug-A shag carpet is your next best bet but any absorbent material will do in a pinch.


Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on your hind legs and hammer with your forepaws (of course, the experienced feline has this down to a fine art on glass doors...pads squeak). Once the door is opened for you, it is not necessary to use it. After you have demanded and exterior door be opened, stand halfway in and halfway out and think or begin nonchalantly grooming your self. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow and the mosquito season.


Quickly determine which of the guests hates cats the most. Sit on THAT person's lap. If you can arrange to have Friskies Fish 'n Glop on your breath, so much the better. For guests who exclaim "I love kitties" be ready with a look of disdain, extend your claws and spring off their lap.

When walking among dishes on the dinner table, be prepared to look surprised and act hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey the message "Huh?, you allow me on the table when company is not here."

Always accompany guests to the bathroom - it is not necessary to do anything, just sit out of reach and stare at them.


Following are the rules for successful hampering:

If one of your humans is sewing or writing and another is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping" otherwise known as hampering.

When Supervising Cooking: Sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up and consoled. Chew on plants in the window sill or lick the butter if you are not being noticed.

For Readers: Get in close under the chin between their eyes and the book unless you can manage to sprawl on the book itself. Knock pencils on the floor whenever possible.

For Knitting Projects: Curl quietly into the lap of the knitter and pretend to doze. Occasionally reach out and slap at the knitting needles sharply or begin to suck sown yarn as if you were slurping spaghetti. The knitter may try to distract you with a scrap of yarn-Ignore it. you can play with the yarn later after she's fallen asleep.


Play is very important for you mental & physical health. Get enough sleep in the daytime so that you are fresh for chasing around or stalking toes through the covers of your human's bed between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.

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